What in the world is a normal person???

 

Haha, it's the one and only Felix again :)

I know I know, midterm week (or I should say midterm month) got us craaaazzyyyy, I've never experienced the life of hecticness until this week. Lots of works piling up awaiting me to finish, not being able to play my favorite video games when I get home, and the worst part is, I can't even go shopping on weekends! As you can see, the hectic weeks are giving me severe stress and anxiety, so I thought to myself, why not read something to calm myself down. So I started binge-watching Normal People to ease my pain, and amazingly, I finished the whole book.

As soon as I read through the whole book, I got the feeling you would experience when you finished watching a movie at the cinema, the unrealistic moment that made you feel empty. This is a sign that tells you it's a great book! Because it cleared up your mind so that you can deeply immerse yourself into the plot then trick yourself that it's your own story. 

The story covers multiple issues, such as the perspective of a school bully, the purpose of life, romantic relationships, and lots of things that "normally" happen in our daily lives. These issues build a strong connection between the character and myself, helping me portrait a clear picture of what does my life actually looks like, and then, I had a deep debate on what does normal mean to me and most importantly, AM I NORMAL?

I think this is a question that will always pop up in my head when I go to bed after reading the book because I usually hear the comments whenever I do something that seems normal to me like, "You're so weird". Not until I finished the book that I realized, no one is normal and no one has the power to determine who is abnormal. Because the factor that makes us different it's our inner personalities and our perspective on things, and our society forces us to filter all the outstanding voices to maintain so-called peace and balance. Because of this restriction, we often fail to express ourselves and sometimes will even question ourselves if we will be accepted. This brings so much stress to me that I will always think if I won't be accepted, what should I do, it will always result in me abandoning my true self and ignoring my inner voice just to fit in the world of being normal, or in short, I'm losing myself day by day to a point that I forget about who I am. 

I hate the Chinese saying, "You have to be like water, so whatever bottles you fill will become your shape.", it just shows how toxic our society can be. This saying is lowkey stating that our values in life are determined by the comments given by others. I know it sounds dramatic but you can truly tell that this concept is embedded in our brains. The funny thing is, though I'm mad about the fact that we are constantly driven by the comments on us, I complied multiple times. Just like I mentioned in the previous log, I was scared to get into college because I don't know how to deal with people. And I have to abandon some of my personalities so that people won't think I'm a weirdo, but as time goes by, that part of me didn't come back, instead, it vanished, creating a hole in my heart.

Just like Connell and Marianne, they lose some of their traits throughout college life and work life, to a point that they don't know how to introduce themselves when they get to meet new people. But in the end, they understand trying to be normal isn't the key to surviving, is sometimes losing some parts but not your belief. Without it, you are not even close to becoming yourself. If you give up the chance to express your voice, then you just have to face the loss that will make you regret it for the rest of your life.

I'm not saying that you shouldn't listen to others, I'm telling you to not be driven by others. Their comments actually mean nothing at all, it's just their perspectives that you are not obligated to follow or even agree with. Your belief is the only thing that can affect your decisions, and you are the only master that can tell you what is best for you. Your value is determined by your inner voice, if you don't believe in yourself, how can you even make your potentials shine.

There are so many things to discuss for this book, but I feel like, during these hectic weeks, this log can maybe lighten up your days and pull you out of the self-doubting moments you're encountering when doing the midterm reports. And I truly hope you guys can just relax for a little, and ask yourselves, what can possibly be your value in life, and also ignore those negative comments that tell you that you're weird. You are not weird, you are too special and outstanding that people don't even think that exists.

Though I can't cover all of the issues included in the book, I do think that I can manage to slip all the things I've learned into the future logs. I hope that my log will give you guys some inspiration and get to know yourselves better. See you guys in the next log~ love u