Log 5

 

    Hello! Everyone, this is Quinn. I've been a really slow reader. Lots of plots and details are hard to consume. However, it's totally great! It means that I've been also learning something new, and even something that people might not know! So it's now kind of a bitter-sweet situation for me.

    Anyway, let's get to it!

    I know that all of you who have read through my logs would know roughly about what's happening by now. To those who are new here, you need to catch up real quick because things are going down from here. In the front side of the cassette 3, the most inspiring part for me, she met the girl named Courtney. They had shared a naive friendship together until Hannah found out who she really was. She was vicious inside, sweet outside. She faked to be good to other, yet, talking behind those people she treated friendly. The friendship between Courtney and Hannah was never real, it's just a way for Courtney to gain other's respect and affection toward herself as a popular one in school. And Hannah was hurt, she was hurt by the faking, pretending, and deceiving. She was told that Courtney was talking something bad behind her, then their friendship was never the same. It turned to a shady relationship between girls.

    So here is a question for what happen in this part of the story, since all of the things are so unbearable for her that she put those stories in the cassettes, why it seemed to be somewhat "OK" for everyone else? Faking friendship, being gossiped behind your back, having a bad relationship with someone with power, all of these are not that hard to process, are they? And that's also a question for myself, why am I so "Ok" with it? All the people have all the rights to have their own feelings and perceptions toward things. However, some common perspectives or major concepts are drowning other uncommon ones. It's not Hannah's fault to be so vulnerable, but how different can feelings be.

    In my last presentation this week, I talked about emotional invalidation. It's necessary not to deny or reject other's feelings, thoughts or actions since it's so toxic that it might leads people to doubt themselves. Through this, people can lay their arrogant opinions down, and listen to other's sincere thoughts. That's how I perceive this part of the story.

    Let's put our opinions aside. What do you see about Hannah's feelings toward Courtney? What I see is that Hannah is sensitive about friendship. Betrayed by a friend is not an acceptable thing for her. And what's more is that she had enough pretending in her life. It might be "OK" for you, but it doesn't mean that it will always be accepted by all the other. Emotional awareness is important for all of us, and it's obvious that we are so far from a qualified good listener or even a accepter tested by this story. And to your surprise, Hannah isn't too.

    She also denies other feelings, oppressing her sad thoughts upon all the other. Ignoring all the opinions from people who have hurt her, she became so self-centered in her own moods. I guess that's also a reason why she's dead by now, and the fourteen reason is herself. She rejected to face the feelings people have over her, and that's also an act of emotional invalidating, paying tribute to her death.

    I hope that all of you, who is reading this can learn the term of EI "Emotional Invalidation". It is usually overseen and unaware by us. We tend to do this all the time, lacking of the knowledge of it. So just make an inspection about yourself next time, see if you're qualified for a good listener.